Translation into English: Anybody wanna buy our phone company? Our consumer phone business makes money, but it's getting less profitable with every passing year. We have no idea how to fix it. And we don't really see how we can make more money on the phone services we sell to businesses, either. There's just too much competition. We could go on like this for years—"managing for cash"—collecting nice salaries as what was once the nation's largest company shrinks its way toward the lower tier of the Fortune 500. Or we could just hope that somebody—a rival, a private-equity firm, Warren Buffett, hell, anybody—buys us and sends us packing with our golden parachutes. Interested? It's not like we're losing money. Dial 1-800-CALL-ATT and ask for Dave. Please?The definition, I'm afraid, is pure snark. And off the mark. But it is still funny.