The Next Net

Take That, Wired

For the second year in a row, Business 2.0 beat Wired in our annual softball game. We obviously are pretty thrilled about it; Wired wants a rematch. Anyway, here is a quick roundup of the game. Editor's note: Om was doing fine until he ran to first base holding the bat. We had to remind him he wasn't playing cricket.

Not Ready (and Too Sleepy) for Prime Time

Toshimitsu Kitanoumi

In the February 9 issue of Nikkei Business, Toshimitsu Kitanoumi, head of Japan's sumo wrestling association (Nihon Sumo Kyokai), says he's refusing TV networks' requests to schedule matches in prime time because, essentially, wrestlers would miss their bedtimes.

Currently, the matches between top yokozuna wrestlers begin between 5:45 and 5:50 pm. "So say we started 2 hours later," offers Kitanoumi, a one-time yokozuna himself whose 24 tournament wins during the 1970s rank third on the all-time list. "Wrestlers would have to move their meals and sleep hours back, and that would really mess up their coordination. I think we'd have to study whether they'd be able to perform at the same level. "

This gives a good idea of the power of the association versus the media. It's like the NFL telling NBC that they have to make the Super Bowl earlier so Tom Brady won't be cranky in the morning.

The Game? Riveting. The Ads? Not So Much.

From Janet's nipple to a Charmin ad that actually used the phrase "for your end zone," Sunday's Super Bowl provided plenty of wholesome family fun. Of course, we'd been warned that the Super Bowl ads would disappoint this year, but the offerings were even more lackluster than expected. You can view some of the "highlights" here.

Things started off promisingly, with Bud Light's crotch-biting dog spot, wherein a yuppie teaches his dog to fetch Buds from a cooler and his neighbor trains a scrappier pup to retrieve the beer in a far more resourceful manner. It was also fun to see so many movie trailers for a change, from the rather hokey Van Helsing to the more impressive Troy and Hidalgo (hello, Viggo!). But to me, the ads mostly went downhill from there, with Bud Light's farting horse joke (am I the only one who didn't see the punchline coming from a mile away?) and that weird FedEx alien. H&R Block took a seemingly no-fail concept (tell me, who wouldn't want to own a Willie Nelson doll?) and ruined it with poor execution and a meandering script. And both Dodge (the monkey-on-the-back spot) and Bud Light (the "playa" monkey spot) proved that, contrary to popular belief, monkeys are not always funny.

NBA's new Mother-ly love

In October we declared it a "Hit" when London-based ad agency Mother announced it would open an outpost in NYC. Now, AdAge reports that Mother, known for pioneering campaigns for Miller Lite and Virgin Mobile, has scored its first US account, the National Basketball Association. Mother will handle creative to promote the playoffs and finals in the spring. After the NBA's awkward promo spots featuring a superimposed Frank Sinatra and Elvis inexplicably intercut with basketball action, whatever Mother comes up with will likely be a welcome change.

Nike's $90 Million Man

When Nike signed 18-year-old basketball sensation LeBron James to a $90 million endorsement deal, skeptics wondered if it might be unwise to bet on a pitchman with zero NBA court-time. But after James's NBA debut with the Cleveland Cavaliers Wednesday night, it looks like Nike's going to be ok. The Cavs lost, but LeBron's impressive performance -- 25 points, 9 assists, and 6 rebounds -- could mean a big win for Nike. The debut, against the Sacramento Kings, grabbed higher ratings than all but one of ESPN's 69 regular games last season. And Nike's new $160 James-designed shoe, Zoom Generation, got camera time as well, both on James's feet and when ESPN broadcaster Jim Gray held up the sneakers mid-game to deliver a marketing spiel. Then, there was the premier of Nike's first LeBron-centric TV spot, which cleverly played off fears that Nike would be left with $90 million down the drain. The ad shows the Cavs playing the Kings (just like in real life!), and when James first gets hold of the ball, he freezes for what seems like an eternity. The arena goes silent. Sportwriters say what a shame it is that he's is choking. Then, James looks straight at the camera, smirks, and runs toward the hoop. Of course, in a real game, this would result in a 5-second possession violation. And Nike's ad suffers from being about 15 seconds too long, though I'm sure they will edit it for subsequent airings.